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Written by Tess Ezzy
We spend so much of our lives at work, or buried in study, juggling all the little things that keep life moving. But none of it really matters if we’re too sad, too weighed down, or too broken inside to keep going. Looking after our mental health, and the mental health of the people around us, has to matter more than deadlines or to-do lists.
I know this deeply because I’ve lost people I love to suicide, including a parent. That kind of loss never goes away. You carry it with you forever. It changes the way you see the world. For me, it’s made me promise that I’ll never stop speaking up for mental health, never stop fighting to make sure people feel less alone.
“Are you okay?” is such a simple and beautiful question. But I don’t think it should only belong to one day in September. We should be asking it every day, and not just with words. Sometimes it’s a coffee with a friend. Sometimes it’s noticing when someone has gone quiet. Sometimes it’s as simple as showing up with cupcakes. Care doesn’t always need words.
I want us to live in a world where “are you okay?” isn’t just a slogan, but something we practice every day. Where listening goes deeper, where we follow up, where we keep showing up even when life is messy. Because asking once is rarely enough.
So let’s not just ask today. Let’s ask tomorrow, next week, and every chance we get. Let’s ask until the people we love know, without doubt, that they don’t have to carry their pain alone.
What is R U OK? Day?
R U OK? Day is a national day of action in Australia, held every September. It began in 2009, when Gavin Larkin created it in honour of his father who died by suicide. Gavin wanted to remind us all that a single question, “Are you okay?” could change, or even save, a life.
Since then, R U OK? Day has grown into a movement that encourages us to check in with each other. It’s about breaking down stigma, showing care, and reminding us that mental health is something we all share responsibility for.
How You Can Be Part of It
You don’t need big words or special training to take part. You just need to show up.
- Ask with care: “Are you okay?” asked with kindness can open the door for honesty.
- Listen fully: If someone says they’re struggling, you don’t need to fix it. Just being there matters.
- Encourage support: Offer to help them connect with a friend, family member, or professional if needed.
- Check in again: Following up shows you really meant it.
And maybe most importantly, don’t let this question live in September alone. Carry it into your everyday life. At uni, at work, at school, over the dinner table, in quiet moments. Because the smallest check-in can mean the world.
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