Written by Lara Wrightson
Going into university straight out of high school, I had many ideas of what adventures and mischief might lie ahead. For me, it was going to be a year of firsts, including my first time living away from home and my first taste of freedom. I believed that my first year would be exactly like the movies: parties every weekend, friends with the whole campus, and constant excitement and melodrama every day. Now, as a second-year student, I just want to go back in time, grab myself by the shoulders and shake all that nonsense out of my head.
First off, there is nothing wrong with the full ‘movie university’ experience; in fact, I applaud anyone with the stamina to party, study, work and socialise 24/7. Secondly, I want to recognise that it is okay to feel like you are missing out on something, even if you don’t necessarily know what.
Most of my weekends in first year were spent studying, hunched over my computer (and they still are sometimes). I often found myself falling into a constant spiral of depression, anxiety, and loneliness, no matter what I did to try and pull myself out of it. I felt like I was doing myself a disservice by not saying ‘yes’ to every event that was thrown at me. I felt like I was wasting my time doing uni work on weekends, even though I would be filled with study guilt anytime I went out ‘too close’ to an exam. I worried about the memories I wasn’t making, constantly scrolling through other people’s Instagram accounts with envy, instead of focusing on the memories I was making.
At times last year, all I wanted to do was curl up under my bed and hide forever, and even when I felt like this, I still forced myself to go out, and do all the uni things I thought would make me happy because everyone was telling me to do them. But at the end of the night, I only felt worse and more alone than ever.
Now, as a second-year student, I can say that I spent way too long wondering what I could be doing or what I didn’t have, rather than focusing on the friends I had made, the goals I had achieved, and the laughs I had shared. If I had stopped thinking about what my uni experience ‘should’ have looked like, I might have enjoyed the one I did have ten times more.
Living on campus, studying full time and balancing it all with work, friends, and family is hard enough without constantly pressuring yourself to fit the glamourised version of ‘uni life’ you see on screen. And yes, it is important to embrace change and push yourself out of your comfort zone. However, it is also important not to forget that you control your own happiness, your own adventures and who gets to come along for the ride. You should never force yourself to change just to appease the opinions of others or to be invited to something people are pressuring you to go to. Every university experience is different, and at the end of your degree, the most important thing is that it was your experience.
Last year I spent most nights in the library. I only went to four parties and two uni balls in total. But last year, I met people I want to keep in my life forever. I made memories I will never forget and I laughed so hard I almost got a six-pack. This year, my circle has grown and so has my happiness, even if I still have to remind myself to stop and smell the roses.
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